Wait. The Rakes Broke Up?: A Monologue

Hold on a second, just—just wait a minute. You’re telling me that the Rakes broke up? Over a month ago? And just when were you planning on letting me know?

You thought I knew? Yeah, right. You just didn’t want to be the one to break it to me. You let me walk around like an idiot thinking the Rakes were still together. How could you do this to me?

Yeah, I hope you’re sorry. Do you know how often I listened to Capture/Release on my walk to class? A lot, okay? I listened to it a lot. I used to laugh at “22 Grand Job“  and now? You know, I don’t even earn twenty-two grand. They can’t break up before I earn twenty two grand.

It was their time? It was their time? Bullshit. They had plenty of music left in them. Tons of songs!

Just give me a minute, alright? I need to collect my thoughts. Wow…just wow. It doesn’t matter that I hadn’t listened to them recently! There’s plenty of bands that I take breaks from. Doesn’t mean I can’t still have feelings for them.

I know I’m overreacting. And I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s just, well, Drew Bledsoe retired a few years ago, Ken Griffey Jr has maybe one year left in him, Morrissey collapsed on stage last month and now this.  Can’t anything stay awesome forever?

-DJ Bears!