I Hate Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling is a jerk. Seriously. First, he was born beautiful. Then he goes and stars in The Notebook making every woman on earth fall in love with him. Naturally, he becomes a darling of the critics after starring in Half Nelson. And as if that weren’t bad enough, he set his sights on world domination with the release of the self-titled debut LP from his band Dead Man’s Bones. To ensure that he would have the undying admiration of indie rock/horror nerds he wrote a pop album chock full of werewolf hearts and ghost ships, abetted by the creepy voices of children.

Hey Ryan, aren’t you happy enough making awesome movies? Don’t you think you should give some other people a chance? At least other actors turned musicians like Keanu Reeves and Kevin Bacon have the decency to write shitty songs. But no. Gosling had to write the insanely catchy “My Body is a Zombie For You” or the unsettling “In the Room Where You Sleep.” And he did it just to rub it in our faces. At the very least he could have had some extremely drunken rant captured by TMZ, but by all accounts he’s also a pretty nice guy. Guess he’s nicer than me, right?

The gauntlet’s been thrown though, Mr. Gosling, the line drawn. I swear to God, if he starts blogging, I’m just gonna have to challenge him to a duel.

-DJ Bears!